[Event "Unrated Standard: Chess with Imagination"]
[Site "SchemingMind.com"]
[Date "2007.07.18"]
[Round "-"]
[White "Archr"]
[Black "Games Freak"]
[Result "1-0"]
[ECO "C46a"]
[WhiteCountry "USA"]
[BlackCountry "AUS"]
[GameID "113204"]

1. Nc3
{
Archr: Now, the origin of the so-denominated Dunst opening is a fascinating story.  In order, however, to appreciate it properly, you must remember that it is also (rather clumsily called the Sleipner-Heinrichsen) Heinrichsen is that famous scholar who said: "Her finder du oplysninger om, hvad der rører sig i dansk roning."  The quote has virtually nothing to do with the subject currently at hand; but as it strikes at the essence of who Heinrichsen is, it was meet to include this slight tangential reference.
}
1... e5
{
Games Freak: So I see. But the question is, how to respond to such a well informed opening so clumsily named Sleipner-Heinrichsen. This should suffice perfectly fine - continuing of course with this line! The origins of this opening are exactly the same as those that were previously stated.
}
{
Archr: I perceive with chagrin that I was derailed in my train of thought.  I was going to expostulate on the origins of the Sleipner-Heinrichsen opening.  Sleipner as you know was no ass of a one-eyed god.  Upon uttering that word, I must hasten to narrow the meaning that oft-misused term to the bestial, not the social—ass as in Equus asinus.  Sliepner was, as I said, no ass, for he was Equus ferus caballus—and twice the worth of most horses—as one could readily see with but one eye.
}
2. Nf3
{
Archr: And now eight legs are galloping.  This reminds me of a story I heard once as a lad in the village outside Oxford University where my grandfather, with whom I lived, was a venerable professor of literature.
}
2... Nc6
{
Games Freak: And it seems to me, that Archr is once again blabbing on about stuff that no-one really understands, and that really has nothing to do with the situation he's about to get himself into right here...
}
{
Archr: What are you saying?!  You speak as if I am not right here pouring out my very heart narrarating aphorisms.  As my uncle has oft said, we are made with two ears; but only one mouth, so demonstrating that taste does not admit of democracy!  Er, um, give me a moment, please.
}
3. e4
{
Archr: Well, back to chess.  The opening books say this (of course they say nothing, only the words placed in them do contain meaning which the willing mind conveys from them when they are opened (and so a closed book really has no value) nor do they convey anything as they are utterly passive things, are books.
}
3... f6
{
Games Freak: We're playing chess!? Why didn't someone say so! You know, this rook is often called a castle, and this is something which rubs at me painfully. Why can't people simply get the concept of ROOK INSTEAD OF CASTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (continued exclamation marks for enternity)?
}
{
Archr: Well, rook comes from an old Persian word, rukh, that means boat.  Since the boat, in the technology then extant, gave greater mobility (at least along navigable waterways) than other methods of conveyance, the long moves of the chess piece are entirely reasonable.  On the other hand, as castles do not readily move (except to tumble down the hill when broken, by an aroused mob of angry peasants, into their constituent stones), to call a castle a piece that can readily move is unreasonable to the extreme.
}
4. Bc4
{
surfnsuds: A rook is a bird, is it not? A knight is a warrior, is he not? A bishop is a cleric, is he not? Is not the queen a woman, and the king a man? And finally are not pawns tasty sea critters? Perhaps not. But they should be.
}
4... Bc5
{
Games Freak: And the kibitz. What a weird term that is! Kibitz. What's wrong with the word comment? I think we can work out it's from an alternative player don't you my noble opponent?
}
{
Wolli: There is a word in German for a bird. It is called Kiebitz. And there is another helpful link:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/kibitz
}
{
Argeon: @surf: perhaps pawns are delicious sea-citters.  :o)
}
5. O-O
{
Archr: Well, nobility is a thing I have not been granted and, as I suspect that you, Games Freak, well know that, I take your remark solely, and most pleasantly, in the realm of courtesy, which, interestingly, is a term that etymologically comes from the behaviour of courtiers in the presence of nobility!  And so our knowledge comes full circle.  But kibitz, well, our knowledge on that point is far from exhaustive.
}
{
Archr: To discuss the origins of "kibitz" is unbecoming for it will invariably lead to using "yadda yadda" as a contemporary example.
}
{
Archr: And finally, they are alimentary, my dear gourmand; but they are prawns.  But in someone else's struggle, for I do not banquet upon bottom-feeding pleocyemata.
}
{
surfnsuds: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Kibitz merely staes the term is from Yiddish. It gives no etymology, to my distress. Sinc Yiddish and German share many forms, is could easily be that Wolli's information is the same.

}
5... a6
{
Games Freak: But now perhaps we should move onto something a little more entertaining for our viewers. Maybe we could invent a new show! Call it Archr and Freak with a little Surf - On the Board. What do you think?
}
{
Games Freak: I'm going away for the weekend, starting tomorrow. Be back either Sunday night or Monday.
}
{
Archr: The proposal is plebian.
}
6. d3
{
Archr: What we have here is caissa, chess, the prince of games.  We must remember the seriousness of our current endeavor and permit ourselves to be distracted by plebian possibilities.  Distraction is the bane of brilliance.  Which reminds me of the story of Old Roman Repulic.  Julius which is actually pronounced in Latin /YULE E OOS/--keyboards with phonetic letters would make it easier to provide pronounciations.
}
6... Nh6
{
Games Freak: Lol Archr you should try UTF-8. That provides all the symbols you need for that sort of stuff
}
7. a3
{
Archr: UTF-8 is not a planet.  It, in fact, caused Pluto to be demoted to that mere demi-planet status that the erstwhile Ninth Planet now endures.
}
7... Ng4
{
Games Freak: And can you provide me a valuable lesson in Astrology next comment please Archr? I could do with that sort of knowledge...
}
8. Qe2
{
Archr: Astrology is "Astro" star and "logos" wisdom, or the study of the stars.  Specifically it is, in current usage, the study of how position of the sun with respect the constellations is supposed to affect the lives of mankind.  Now, a constellation is not merely any star group or asterism such as "The Big Dipper" (an example of greater relevance to those dwelling in the northern hemisphere, where the stars (and the food) are different.
}
8... Rf8
{
Games Freak: And while we're here, I could also do with knowledge of "Podcasts". I need some of this for school. Surely you have the extensive knowledge in this highly technologically advanced field do you not?
}
9. h3
{
Archr: I demur.
}
9... Nh6
{
Games Freak: and what is the reason for this sudden objection my dear archr!?
}
{
Archr: Ah, yes, so many have used demur for declining to answer when there was some objection that effectuated that demurral that the word has come to mean to decline to answer because of an objection.  That, however, is not the older, dare I say correct, meaning of demur.  That reminds me of the ages long debate over the shifting of languages.  Of course orthography itself is of little consquence except as it may obsure either the intention of the writer of of the etymology of the verbiage; and grammar does not shift so much in a century as poetry routinely takes it in a few stanzas; but, the shift in meaning of words, both connotively and especially denotatively. 
}
10. b4 Bd6
{
Games Freak: I sensesory perceptions tell me there is the slightest bit of hostility here! Should we perhaps settle on a truce?
}
{
Archr: Nothing is finer shortly following an altercation, however inconsequential, than interring the peace pipe.  Let us take the high road and let our bygones take the byway.  As the saying could go, "Wage chess not argument."  You, sir are a gentleman and a scholar and there aren't many of us left.
}
11. Bd2 a5
{
Games Freak: Well thankyou for your kind compliments Archr. You too are a fine fellow. It is nice to be sharing these games with you...
}
12. Nd5
{
Archr: Aye, this game is a veritable lubricant for deep thoughts.  I have heard that chess acumen accords well with a cunning conscience.  Now, where was that at ... ?
}
12... b6
{
Games Freak: I would have no idea where on earth you have read that!? Would you have read the book Sophie's World by any chance Arhcr?
}
{
Archr: No, I have not so much as heard of Sophie's World by Any Chance.  But I now recall where I heard that chess acumen accords well with a cunning conscience--it was at a correspondence chess site somewhere.
}
13. c3 f5
{
Games Freak: Ah, and a quick question for you my dear friend Archr - how many correspondence sites do you play on currently?
}
{
Archr: I play almost exclusively at that Sherlock-Holmes-Alice-Whatshername site.  All others have proved to be but passing fancies.  It is only the aformentioned that I supported with my full membership dues.  But what were we discussing?
}
14. Bg5
{
Archr: I hope this game does not go on much longer.  I find that it is quite banal compared to the older, more complicated true chess (known here as Stanley "Random" Chess).  With this simplified version, you almost always get the move you intend.  It nearly reminds me of the history lectures by Professor Sominex when I was an undergrad.  His lectures were so completely monotonous that undergrads would go out of their way to catch his class whenever they were having trouble sleeping.  It is most remarkable that his name later became, um, er, of whom were we discussing?
}
14... Rf6
{
Games Freak: Stanley, I believe it was... and do continue.
}
{
Archr: Right, right, Stanley.  Stanley was a fine chap.  He was the sort of fellow who always had a fair word and a cigar at the ready.  He always smoked one with you so that you would feel perfectly at ease.  Regrettably, he get his air these days from a green metal tank marked O2.
}
15. Nxf6+
{
Archr: And so he does not give cigars anymore.  Pity, really.  Now, I have to buy them.
}
15... gxf6
{
Games Freak: But, however, I am still too young to be smoking my Archr...
}
16. Bxh6
{
Archr: Right, right.  Do not smoke; it's bad for your wallet.  You smoke a couple of cigars and pretty soon you're buying really expensive ones and mortgaging everything you own for a top brand.  Besides, they're bad for your health!  Really!  I'm almost shocked that you would do such a thing!  My, my.  Well where were we before this rather startling confession of yours?
}
{
Archr: Right, Professor Sominex.  What a remarkable conincidence that his name and his apparent effect should after be so closely linked by the marketing of soporifics.
}
16... fxe4
{
Games Freak: Translation please...
}
{
Archr: Ah, yes the brand names in my own land do not necessarily translate to your markets.  Sominex is a brand of soporific, sleeping pills.  But I bore you, perhaps.  You pick the next topic.  The last thing I want to be is verbose and garrulous.  Concise is what I say, to the point.  Waste not words.  Get to the heart of the matter and be always pithy.
}
17. dxe4
{
Games Freak: Going away for the long weekend - my apologies to all my opponents in the games I know I will be timing out in. See you soon.
}
17... Bf8
{
Games Freak: Next topic... how about... Technology. Spur away...
}
{
Archr: Well, it has taken me a short duration of time to research this new topic sufficiently to something worthy of this brilliant exchange.

The trouble is that I think a mechanical pencil is high technology.  I still use my slide rule, too!  Do you know it is hard to find a quality slide rule these days?  They can generate sums, products, and quotients to three significant figures with a speed that rivals the fastest electronic calculators.  It seems a shame that they should go out of usage.

Did you know that our schools actually teach our kids math using calculators.  It just makes them lazy.  And we wonder why we have such troubles in society.  Everybody wants to do everything the easy way.

Give everybody a slide rule, a normal, old-fashioned pencil, and a hand-cranked pencil sharpener and this would be a better place, that's for certain!
}
18. Qd2 axb4
{
Games Freak: I love my calculator - would most probably die without it though...
}
{
Archr: No, you wouldn't.  Fail in trigonometry, perhaps.  Lose that potential scholarship, perhaps.  Die, no.  Remember the old rule of thumb.  You can live about 3 minutes without air; 3 days without water; and 3 weeks without food.  Some of us could last a little longer than 3 weeks.  It is not clear how long a chess adict can live without a game.
}
19. Bxf8 Kxf8
{
Games Freak: I chomp down another of your wondrous pieces there Archr
}
20. Qh6+
{
Archr: It is not the pieces; but the game.  Taking all the pieces and losing the game is like not seeing the forest for the trees.  Or like water droplets condensing on dust specks in the altosphere.
}
20... Ke8
{
Games Freak: But taking the pieces can be important in the game, for without doing so, we would be stuck within such a huge deadlock!
}
21. Qg7
{
Archr: Deadlock.  Isn't that the distinctive hair feature of reggae artists?
}
21... Qe7
{
Games Freak: no - that's dreadlock - but you are close there! (I see your plan)
}
22. Qg8+
{
Archr: So ends our brief lecture on the Dunst (Sleipner-Heinrichsen).  Remember to pick up your take-home essay exam on the way out of the lecture hall.
}
22... Qf8 23. Bf7+ Ke7
{
Games Freak: This is looking like a dimmer and a dimmer cause for me...
}
24. Qxf8+
{
Archr: I call this the Sleipner Hold Ending because it is an ending that follows an opening called Sleipner-Heinrichsen.  Now Heinrichsen is a famous scholar who made a great quote that I read about in a chess site somewhere.
}
24... Kxf8
{
Games Freak: I call that the you just sacrificed your queen for no apparent reason ending...
}
25. Bd5
{
Archr: Ungrateful whippersnapper!
}
25... Bb7
{
Games Freak: just because it's true and you know it Archr...
}
{
Archr: Two weeks emergency holiday applied by site admin: Serious health problem in family.
}
26. axb4
{
Archr: Well, it has been a long time since our last move.  In light of that, it is entirely germane to commentate upon the game thus far.  In fact, the game reminds me of a Shakespeare line:  "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day."  It is time for this poor pawn to strut upon the stage.  And Wordsworth (wasn't that an appropriate name for a poet?
}
26... Rxa1
{
Games Freak: I must say, I have never heard of Wordsworth - you certainly seem quite the knowledge base.
}
27. Rxa1
{
Archr: Knowledge ought to based upon facts.  As a matter of fact, knowledge based otherwise is like a superstructure that has no foundation.  Foundationally, facts are to be correctly known.
}
27... Ke7
{
Games Freak: It appears I am running out of moves... and pieces!
}
28. Nh4
{
Archr: What is the nature of compulsion?  Is it not a constrained choice based upon supposed consequences?  Consider the idea of acting at gunpoint.  Is it still not a choice whether or not to comply with the demand of the gunman?  Though he wields that most potent of physical threats, his demands are not absolute compulsion.  What if we were convinced that he would not actually shoot the gun--or that it were not loaded?  What if we were more willing to face the consequences of the gun, than to do the thing demanded?  Throughout the scenario, do not we continue unabatedly to act according to our nature, albeit under unusual circumstances?  Are not all choices, then both free and constrained?  The will is free to act according to nature and is just the same constrained to act only according to nature consistent with the circumstances as we are persuaded of them.
}
28... h5
{
Games Freak: And in response to the longest comment ever written, I say... uh... something. I'll think of it later... 
}
29. Ng6+
{
Archr: If brevity is the soul of wit; you are a person of great wit.
}
29... Kd6
{
Games Freak: Uh, don't know what that means, so I'll say thank you.
}
30. Bxc6
{
Archr: When one is in a materially superior position, barring reasons to the contrary, one generally, if it is adviseable and there is good reason for it, ought to frequently be willing, and even to strive to, reduce the amount of force both sides posess as it can often be done to advantage to that one on many or at least some.
}
30... Bxc6
{
Games Freak: And with that enthralling speech, I claim your bishop to be mine!!!!
}
31. Rd1+
{
Archr: To put it briefly:  you had no reasonable and palitable alternative given that the bishop, since it had just taken your knight, was en prise which is a french phrase meaning it was free for the taking, so take it may as well have.
}
31... Ke6
{
Games Freak: Run and hide my good King, for it is for your own benefit!
}
32. f3
{
Archr: That is an interesting concept.  However, against such superior material, it is doubtful that your king will see any lasting benefit, of course, there is the possibility of another blunder on my part; but surely blunders of that caliber are like lightening which is said not to strike the same place twice.
}
32... Ba4
{
Games Freak: Ah but lightning does in some cases strike twice. It is a proven Physics concept.
}
33. Rd2
{
Archr: The rook was threatening to become a lightening rod, which reminds me of the interesting colloquial idea that that a rod of conductive material could "attract" lightening, which, of course, it doesn't literally do, any more than avoid striking the same place twice, but rather enables electrical conduction more easily that locall available alternatives, but such are the vagaries of colloquial expression.
}
33... d6
{
Games Freak: Sometimes I wonder about those voices inside your head there Arhcr!
}
34. g4
{
Archr: You don't hear voices?
}
{
Archr: You must get lonely with all that deafening silence.  Now, isn't that a rather ironical expression.  As if silence that cannot affect the ear can cause the effect of deafness.  Of course, affect and effect are often confused and that most often by those who affect a higher level of learning than has been effected in their lives.  <chortle>  But I digress, now where was I?  Oh, yes, deafness.  The Deaf, or some of the Deaf, argue that lack of hearing is an advantage, not a disability.  I have heard, or rather seen, as it was in print, the story of the deaf couple who, while travelling, stayed in a motel on a busy night when it was completely filled up.  In the middle of the night the man had to go to the car to get some ibuprofen for his wife's headache (or rather for her to get rid of the headache).  At any rate, he was so groggy, that he forgot which room he was staying in.  What do you think he did?
}
{
Archr: He went back to their car and honked on the horn--continuously--until every light in the motel lit up.  Well, every light but one.  And, of course, that was the room in which his wife was--completely undisturbed by the noise.
}
34... hxg4
{
Games Freak: A rather interesting a lengthy story there Archr!
}
35. fxg4
{
Archr: A long story, but no tall tale.
}
{
Archr: Stories, you know, often contain the seeds of truth.  Or, perhaps, rather, the almost atrophied remains of the truth.
}
{
Games Freak: I'm going out to the West Coast for two weeks, without internet access, for a fishing holiday. Enjoy the time without me :)
}
35... c5
{
Games Freak: And alack I return from yet another succesful expedition. How was the time without me?
}
{
Archr: We managed, of course.  But it just wasn't the same without you.  Not that you ceased to exist, nor was your geographical proximity any greater; it was simply your communicative proximity was removed.  One ought to be precise in discussing things like "going away".
}
36. h4
{
Archr: So the fish found their nemesis in you and your gang of hunter-gatherers?
}
36... Be8
{
Games Freak: that they did. We ended up with enough fish to last us at least a year...
}
{
Archr: A single fish can last a year--if you freeze it and eat other things all year!  <chortle chortle>
}
37. h5
{
Archr: But, do you know how to keep a fish from smelling?
}
{
Archr: Camping this weekend.
}
37... cxb4
{
Games Freak: I would be interested if you know how Archr...
}
38. cxb4
{
Archr: It's really quite elementary.  You see smelling is an olfactory sense.  The olfactory function is (externally) associated with the nose.  To keep a fish from smelling--you cut off its nose!
}
{
Archr: It's really more of a joke than an accurate commentary on sensory function.
}
38... Bc6
{
Games Freak: So I see...
}
39. Re2
{
Archr: We really ought to dicuss entropy, next.  It's a confusing subject for some; but it is not complicated.  Think of this.  The earth does not get energy from the sun--if it did, it would heat up.  The earth gets the inverse of entropy from the sun.  Or to put it differently, the earth gets low-entropy energy from the sun and radiates high energy (in the form of heat) to the solar system.  The amount of energy in the earth remains very close to constant.  The amount of entropy (thanks to the low-entropy solar radiation) is kept from increasing.  Thus life may be sustained--and chess played.
}
39... b5
{
Games Freak: And without chess, where would our knowledge be!?
}
40. h6
{
Archr: Oh, I forgot to say something.  I could just let it go at that just once.  You know, I think I will do just that.  Sometimes saying nothing carries the most poignant expressiveness.  In certain circumstances, less can be more.  And saying nothing says it all.  So I will not clutter up this profound moment in our conversation with words.
}
{
Archr: You know, that seems right to forgo a comment.  I'm glad I tried it.
}
{
Archr: I might not be silent often; but there are times when it is the epitome of apropos.  I know when to hold my peace.  And this was just such an appropriate moment.
}
{
Archr: And now it is your turn.
}
{
Archr: To move, that is.  Not to hold your peace.  Although you are free to try that, too, if the mood strikes; but I am not asking for it, per se.  I am just revelling in this brief, even rare, pause in our profound and informative dialog.
}
{
Archr: Are you finding this pause, likewise, an appropriate and refreshing thing?
}
{
Archr: I hope so.  Anyway, just take your time with your move, and enjoy this, dare I say, uncharacteristicly quiet moment from on who often has much to say.
}
{
Archr: Maybe sip a coffee while you revel in the moment.
}
{
Archr: Or maybe it is tea for you.  Or water.  In any case, enjoy this quiet and tranquil moments in our little chess adventure.
}
{
Archr: You know, while I was just sitting here quietly, I was thinking about the opening we chose.  I is interesting that we chose an opening named for a horse with supernumery legs who belonged to a god with a quantitative oracular deficit and now we have a great example to remind us that we have a plurality of ears but only a singularity of mouths (for each of us considered separately) and that this may remind us to speak less and to listen more.  And so we are listening to the silent sounds of our own contented thoughts whilst sipping coffee, or tea, or water.
}
40... d5
{
Games Freak: I sit here, and try to formulate an intelligent response, yet I just cannot do it!
}
41. h7
{
Archr: I was speechless too.
}
41... Be8 42. h8=Q
{
Archr: There's the new Queen.  The widower is married again.  It's a shame really what happened to the former Queen.  But chess is supposed to be stylized, so we shouldn't be thinking about what happens in a real battlefield.
}
42... Bf7
{
Games Freak: I think I will play on rather than accept those rather glum looking conditionals...
}
43. exd5+
{
Archr: Glum they are.  But glum is any move after a new queen joins the enemy ranks.
}
43... Kxd5 44. Qxf6 e4 45. Qxf7+
{
Archr: After a few digressions, we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
}
45... Kd4
{
Games Freak: This is definitely not looking good...
}
46. Qb3
{
Archr: To strike a hortative, if fatalistic tone: as there is no real alternative, the conditionals ought be a cinch.  But perhaps there is one more topic you wish addressed first.  If so, by all means name it and reject the conditionals and we will play on!
}
46... e3
{
Games Freak: How about my final topic - How to prepare for my exams, and avoid most of the stress involved with them!
}
{
Archr: Well, it is a remarkable thing, is it not?  In school, one is taught and the test follows; but in life, one is tested and thereby learns.
}
{
Archr: The best way to prepare for exams is to consistently study all the semester, then the material is most firmly cemented in the mind.  Furthermore, as the information is learned, the understanding of it provides a structure, as it were, in which to place each newer portion of information.  When once one is behind, the difficulty is magnified.
}
47. Qxe3+
{
Archr: When are your exams?
}
47... Kc4
{
Games Freak: My exams have now finished. For the semester results, I achieved 90% for Physics, 90% for English Studies, 92% for Mathematical Studies and 83% for Chemistry :)
}
48. Qc5+
{
Archr: Those sound like good scores.  Congratulations.
}
48... Kd3
{
Games Freak: Thank you :) I was quite pleased with them!
}
49. Qxb5+
{
Archr: The Penultimate Piece!
}
49... Kc3
{
Games Freak: Oh dear...
}
50. Re4
{
Archr: Songs that use improper grammar corrupt our language!
}
50... Kb3
{
Games Freak: Uh yes. Yes they do...
}
51. Re3+
{
Archr: "I ain't nothing but a hound dog"?  Really?  That sort of stuff is the source of the woes of western civilization.
}
51... Kc2 52. Qe2+
{
Archr: We need to jail all those "artists" who write such dangerous stuff.  We can set our game comments to music instead!
}
52... Kb1
{
Games Freak: You're really quite keen on those conditionals aren't you... Even though I don't want to follow them... I'm quite enjoying our conversations!
}
53. Qf2
{
Archr: I thought that you would appreciate the artistic economy in that string of conditionals.
}
53... Kc1
{
Games Freak: I certainly looked at them, I just refuse to admit defeat - Maybe you will make a mistake!
}
54. b5
{
Archr: It's possible.  I did on a previous occassion.  Is everything possible?  Is it really possible for all of the air molecules in the room to just happen to meander to the same corner in one instant?  Some say it is just extremely unlikely; but not impossible.  I wonder.
}
54... Kd1
{
Games Freak: Is anything impossible? Will we ever know?
}
55. b6
{
Archr: Possibly.
}
55... Kc1 56. b7
{
Archr: Well, our lecture has come to an end.  I hope each of you learned something of value.  The final exam is next.
}
56... Kd1
{
Games Freak: The final moves, and nothing I can do to stop them. It has been a pleasure
}
57. Re1#
{
Archr: Thanks for the opportunity to lecture on a wide-range of topics.  I hope much of what I taught was true.
}
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